Your name is Ned. You are a sad little man with a beergut and a combover. This is your adventure. Choose your fate...

    You wake up in your mother's dank basement. You appear to be stuck to the sheets, yet again. You've got to stop dreaming about Sailor Moon.

    All of a sudden, there comes a crashing noise from upstairs. Smoke starts billowing down the stairs. Obviously something very interesting is happening.

    What Do you do?
A) Go and investigate the commotion upstairs?
B) Turn on your computer and surf the information superhighway?
C) Punch yourself in the nuts?